Full House
by tinytim12
Summary: A story about four Contractors who should have had a bigger role.


'There he is,' the man in the cowboy hat said, casually shuffling a deck of cards.

'You mean Wei Zhijun, Anslem?'

'Yes,' Anslem watched the elfish man stagger across the street, leaving drops of blood with every step.

'He looks hurt.'

'That's because he just escaped from the morgue,' the cards between Anslem's hands flew, and he scratched his blond moustache. 'Might not seem like much, but he's powerful.'

'Are you sure the EPR really needs him?'

'Of course, Arthur,' Anslem sighed, squaring the deck with a clunk.

Arthur stared emotionlessly at him for a moment, and then adjusted the red headband around his forehead. 'I understand.'

With one sleek movement, Anslem spread the cards into a fan and handed it to Arthur. 'Pick a card. Any card.'

'No,' Arthur was already walking out of the door.

Anslem, disappointed, reached for a card himself. Taking it and turning it over, he discovered he had just picked a four of clubs.

'Unlucky,' he murmured, and then followed after Arthur.

Wei Zhijun leant against the lamp post, breathing hard. He looked at his hand. It was completely covered in red. At this rate, he would collapse.

_Make the rational decision, _a voice spoke up in his head. _Get to a hospital._

'Fuuuuccccccck,' Wei rasped, and the scar on his face burned again. He stood up, and then he heard footsteps behind him.

'Wei Zhijun,' Arthur said. 'We'd like to invite you to the EPR.'

Anslem came up behind him, shuffling the deck. Wei eyed the two with suspicion. 'What if I said no?'

'Then you would die,' Anslem said, spreading the deck into a fan. He offered it to Wei. 'Pick a card. Any card.'

'That's a weird payment.'

'It's not,' Anslem said. 'I just like doing it. Now pick a card and we'll decide what to do from there.'

Arthur had not moved a single muscle. His face was absolutely expressionless. He must be one of those types of Contractors, Wei thought. Like Hei. Hei. _Hei._

'No thanks,' Wei said, knocking away the cards with a bloodstained hand. ''I have something to do first.'

'Interesting,' Anslem murmured, slowly picking up his reddened cards. 'An irrational contractor.'

Wei slowly stumbled backwards. 'Yes…now if you'll allow me to continue on my way…'

Anslem's eyes glowed, and the cards lit up with a blue light. Wei backed away, snapping his fingers. The cards instantly disintegrated and lost their blue shine.

'Ah, fuck,' Anslem groaned. 'My cards.'

'Leave me alone,' Wei said.

'No can do. You might get recruited by other organizations, we can't take the risk.'

'Don't make me kill you,' Wei snarled, readying his fingers.

'We'll see,' Anslem said confidently, producing a fresh deck from his vest. 'With you weakened state, you won't last long.'

'Why won't you make a rational decision?' Arthur spoke for the second time.

'Because I am special!' Wei roared, flinging his arm and sending blood droplets scattering throughout the air. Arthur braced himself, and then –

The blood globules disappeared in mid-air.

'Huh,' Arthur said. It was the closest he would ever get to exclaiming.

Anslem jerked his head round, and saw a man in a red coat slowly walking towards them.

'Who are you?' he demanded. 'Another Contractor?'

'Contractor is such a dull word,' the man in red sighed, and a black top hat suddenly teleported in his hands. Placing on his head, he smiled. 'Call me a magician.'

'Shit,' Wei said, and whirled round. He was halfway into a sprint when a piano dropped out of the air and crashed onto the pavement in front of him, producing a screech of breaking wood and E minor.

'What the fuck?'

'The fuck?' Anslem yelled, and the deck in his hand started to glow.

'Mmm,' Arthur looked at the wrecked piano and turned to the Magician. 'What is your purpose?'

'To settle your differences,' The Magician raised his hands. 'Seriously, I don't mean any harm. Just want to help my fellow people.' He pointed to Wei. 'He wants to kill a guy named Hei.'

He then pointed to Anslem. 'If you guys give him what he wants, he'll happily join the EPR.'

'How did you – ' Wei backtracked and decided to put on a brave front. 'No one can help.'

'Actually, we can,' Anslem said, seizing the moment. 'The man named Hei, the Black Reaper, is at the heart of our main goal. You'll have plenty of opportunities to fight him.'

Wei's eyes narrowed. 'Contractors always lie.'

'The balloon is twisted,' murmured the Magician. 'It avoids the pencil and thus is not popped.'

'Handle him,' ordered Anslem. Arthur nodded and reached into his pocket, bringing out a soap bottle and a bubble blower.

'Hey, hey, I was only trying to help,' protested the Magician, as Arthur slowly dipped the rod into the bottle. Meanwhile, Anslem had drawn Wei aside and the two of them were speaking in hushed voices.

Arthur brought a slippery rod to his lips and blew. A perfectly round bubble was produced, and it slowly floated towards the magician.

'You might want to know something,' The Magician said. 'I'm from MI6.'

Arthur's eyes narrowed. 'Are you betraying them?'

'Mebbe.'

The bubble exploded. When the flames and smoke cleared, there was nothing of the Magician left. That was because he had teleported away, leaving nothing but thin air in his wake.

Arthur looked back to Anslem, and saw Wei lying on the floor.

'He passed out from blood loss,' Anslem said. 'But he's sold. Told him he'd have a chance to beat Hei.'

'Mm,' Anslem nodded.

Suddenly a bomb exploded and they all died. August 7 devoured pies while he skipped along saucy's teacup and drowned in snuff's totty fliff.

END.


End file.
